Summer Soup

The previous posts have mainly featured Timmy Jither and his long suffering drinking buddy JC, this next post has 2 aims.

1. To prove that it is not just JC whom Timmy talks nonsense to; and

2. To prove that Timmy really does have the mental capacity of a fly which has recently smashed into a car windscreen, been scraped off, eaten by a spider, shat out before coming to rest in a dusty corner of a derelict crack house.

TJ was working in a soup factory at the time of this conversation

TJ - Do you want any soups TS? I can get as many as you want.

TS - That'd be great mate, just get me a few, half a dozen or so, I'm not bothered which flavours, you can surprise me

TJ - Do you like Tomato Soup?

TS - Yes, I like tomato, but I like all soups mate, so it doesn't matter which flavour?

TJ - What about Chicken Soup?

TS - Yes Tim, I like Chicken Soup, honestly mate, just get me any 6 soups

TJ - What about Minestrone, do you like that?

TS - Yes, I like any soup, I like ALL soups, there is not a soup which I do not enjoy

TJ - Oxtail?

TS - Yesssss

TJ - Leek and Potato?

TS - Yep (now in a state of annoyance and despair)

TJ - Tomato?

TS - We've f*cking had that one Timmy, how about Pea & Ham Soup, why not f*cking ask me if I like Pea and Ham Soup?

TJ - I can't get you Pea and Ham Soup, that's a summer summer soup!

TS - Timmy, it's November and it's freezing cold, I can't think of many soups more warming than Pea and Ham

TJ - No, that's a summer soup, do you like Scotch Broth?

TS - I'm going to the bar

Football Seats

Oh Timmy your inane, your so inane you hurt my brain, Oh Timmy (yeah yeah), Oh Timmy (yeah yeah)

Honestly you cannot make this drivel up, it keeps flowing like a sewer pipe that has spruing a leak 55 feet underground, JC is the chief engineer trying desperately to stem the tide, but he gets covered in more sh1t than the rest of us, as the offering for today amptly demonstrates.

JC has a season ticket at the football with his son and at the start of the 2008/2009 season Timmy has a query.

TJ - Have you got the same seats at the football this season JC?

JC - No Timmy, we are on the halfway line, quite high up this year

TJ - You've got the same seats though

JC - No Timmy, we used to be behind the goal, but now we are in the East Stand, at the side of the pitch

TJ - You've got the same seats then

JC - What?

TJ - Plastc...they are still plastic seats though...the same seats.